#i don't wanna go to school tomorrow .. not if everybodys gonna ignore me

[iwakuraz]

whats the point in life if everybody stops liking me the moment I start feeling even just a bit sad

[chibisquirt]

You don't have to answer, but if you wouldn't mind. What are some things you've learned about ADHD from Tumblr that are applicable to you, or others you may now? I've been reading more on it and how it manifests in girls/women and was curious when I read your rb on that post about Grammarly

I don’t mind at all!  Fair warning:  this is gonna be LONG.

I’m going to start by repeating something I mentioned in that post:  I was diagnosed in third grade, which was over two decades ago.  I had my diagnosis halfway through elementary school, much less high school and two rounds of college.  So a lot of the old information about ADHD I learned as a young person, and those things are worth exploring, too.  

Example:  It’s not that I’m not listening, Mrs. Nock, it’s just that if I try to keep my hands still, then the only thing I will retain from the lesson will be keep your hands still and not the things you trying to teach, which are supposedly important! 

(Mrs. Nock was the one who said to me, “I believe you believe you’re paying attention.”  Yes, it’s been fifteen years.  Yes, I’m still mad.  If you can’t have basic respect for your students, don’t teach.)

I figured out half on my own, half because of the counselling that if I had a fidget tool that didn’t require words I would pay better attention than if I tried to sit still.  (I still remember being mocked by my dad for fidgeting well after making that discovery, though.  Apparently diagnoses should only inform compassion when they’re his.)  On the same lines, I also figured out that music in the background wouldn’t work for me if it had words, and television is too distracting for me to use at all.  (I have a friend, though, whose ADHD works the opposite way:  he has difficulty focusing if there isn’t a television in the background.  Yes, both are valid.)

So, the Classics:  

I always had trouble with organization and cleaning, had trouble with schedules and calendars and managing my time.  Those are the things they’ll warn you about, the things they’ll tell you in counselling are natural and normal things for people with ADHD to have trouble with.  Trouble paying attention, sure.  Trouble sitting still.  Procrastination.  Got it.

But if you turn those traits around and re-frame them, they become a new set of symptoms.  Adaptations for these new symptoms are more personal and universally applicable in my life, and therefore, to my mind, more useful.

Take Procrastination.  (No really: please take it.)  That just means “putting it off until tomorrow,” and there are lots of reasons to do it:  “don’t have the tool I need” is one of the biggies, “want to conserve steps” trips me up a lot, “I still have time to get to it” is HUGE for me...  But a lot of times, these are just superficial reasons.  The re-framed symptom is, Trouble making yourself do things you don’t want to do.  

ADHD is an executive function disorder.  That’s a phrase I first learned on Tumblr, by the way; it may have been mentioned by one of my earlier counsellors, but it definitely wasn’t taught.  

This is why soooo many of us have struggled with the perception (including self-perception) that we’re lazy!  But no one tells the kid in the wheelchair he’s just lazy for not playing basketball.  (Okay, they totally do.  People are terrible.  Ignore that, stick to the point.)  I reframe this the way I do because acknowledging this as a symptom, taking the blame out of it, makes it easier to find adaptation.

Now, this is a personal post.  YMMV.  But I have an easier time managing my conduct if, instead of calling myself lazy a procrastinator, I say, “I keep not doing that --> oh it’s because I Don’t Wanna --> how can I con myself into doing it?”  (Strategies include bargaining, making it easier, powering through but then allowing yourself to stop afterwards, just acknowledging that I Don’t Wanna and allowing that to be valid...)  Procrastination is an action, but “executive function disorder” is a disease and “I Don’t Wanna” is its trigger, just as much as an allergy and a clump of ragweed are.  “Procrastination” is a powerful sphynx against which I’m helpless, but “I Don’t Wanna Disease” lets me start cultivating my metaphorical catnip and researching the answers to common riddles.

And while we’re talking about procrastination--and trouble with deadlines, and schedules in general--let’s talk about Time Insensitivity.  Missed deadlines and perpetual lateness (perpetual) are external actions, just like procrastination, and they can have all sorts of explanations.  

(Shoutout to Mrs. Pollack, who looked around a classroom containing thirteen-year-old me, and, knowing full well that I was chronically tardy, declared that “anybody who’s always running late, deep down, they just doesn’t care about anybody else’s time.”  Great job with calling the thirteen-year-old a heartless bitch, Mrs. Pollack!  As you can tell, I definitely forgot it very quickly, and didn’t at all have a self-critical breakdown about it, periodically revisiting the question of my own inherent selfishness for years!!!)

But ignoring the external actions, let’s take a compassionate look inside the head again.  Executive function includes regulation of, and awareness of the passing of, time.  Again: you can’t play the basketball with no legs.  We literally do not realize what time is doing.  Sometimes we do--if we devote enough of our attention to it, which may be a large amount for some, a small amount for others, or a variable amount for the same person.  But our brains literally don’t process it the same way.  

But hold on a minute--let’s go back to that analogy.  Because actually, people with no legs can play basketball!  It’s just that you have to use the adaptation of wheelchairs to do it--and that’s an adaptation for the game and for the players.  

I use alarms.  I’ve recently seen a post about audio memos as alarms.  There are people who just slap clocks everywhere.  When I was forced to work in a kitchen with no clocks, I used the multi-setting timer and set it for like four hours so I would know if I was keeping on schedule.  I also chose a job environment where much of my shift is the same as itself, and rigid punctuality isn’t enforced--that’s adapting my environment, instead of myself.  There’s all kinds of adaptations.  But you have to know you have the condition before you can compensate for it.

Here’s a fun little story:  when I was... oh, eleven?  Twelve?  My Quaker Meeting’s youth group (#7 whitest phrase I’ve ever written) went to the museum together.  One of the stops was in the children’s section, there was a... a pegboard, I think?  With some kind of problem on it.  A puzzle.  Me and a couple others sat down at it, and it took me a while, but eventually I solved it, and I looked up.  

I blinked.  “Where is everybody?” I said.

“They left,” said my mom.  “Half an hour ago.”  

I was stunned.  “Half an hour ago?!  But I couldn’t’ve spent more than ten minutes on this!”

“I promise you, it was half an hour.”

“Why didn’t you call me??  Why didn’t you say my name?”

“We did.  Several times.”

To this day, I will swear myself blind that I never heard a thing.

Hyperfocusing.  They’ll tell you about the problems focusing; oh yes.  They’ll tell you allll about that one.  But they won’t tell you about the flip side of it.  They won’t tell you about the times when the rest of the world falls away, and the only two things in the world are you and whatever problem you’re trying to solve.  

D’y’know what, I bet that’s the reason I test well.  I just realized this now, phrasing it like that, but--I’ve always tested well, even when my actual practical applications of things are mediocre I do well with the classroom testing on it.  I scored a 39 on the MCAT, back when it was out of 45 and not whatever it is now.  (To those with the plain good sense not to want to be doctors:  that’s pretty good.)  And I just bet it’s because, once I get focused on solving the problems, the other problems--nerves, intrusive thoughts, anxiety--just don’t have room to get in.  Hyperfocusing can be a superpower, if you can harness it.  

But it can also blind you to everything else.  And it works in smaller ways, too:  once I think I understand something, it is very difficult for me to perceive information that contradicts that understanding.  I still get the map of the Elflands backwards every time I read The Goblin Emperor, just because I pictured it one way, and every indication in the text that it was the other way just fell on deaf ears.  

And this one leads right into the next, which is Rejection Sensitivity Disorder.  RSD is hyperfocus, but it’s hyperfocus on how everyone must hate you.  It’s delightful!  I’ve been diagnosed with anxiety and depression, as well, and I do have both of those things, but for my money, I think that this one symptom of ADHD--which no doctor has ever even mentioned to me--has hurt me more than both of those conditions combined.  

The last one I’m going to bring up is Auditory Processing Disorder.  Now, I’ve gone and gotten re-diagnosed twice in my life, and the last time was just a few years ago, so they actually used this one in the test.  The psychologist told me about it, she just didn’t use the phrase Auditory Processing Disorder, and she didn’t tell me that it was its own symptom--she just used it for the test.  

What she did was, she gave me two hearing tests, one to test whether or not I could hear, and then the other a list of words that all sounded alike, and I had to mark which one I was hearing.  The second part of that was very long, and very boring, and despite scoring perfectly on the first test, I got several wrong on the second.  I was actually surprised by that; I at no point suspected I had heard any of them wrong.  When she gave me the test, told me this was proof by contradiction, that we were ruling out hearing loss as an alternative explanation for my difficulties.  It was only after the test was done that she explained that the pattern I showed was actually part of the diagnosis of ADHD; that we get bored, and stop really paying attention, and that we don’t even know we’re doing it.

...Okay, but you couldn’t have mentioned the part where I also do that every day in real life, lady?!?!  It’s not just when we’re bored, it’s not just for long processes.  I do this all the time.  I actually tell people now that “I actually have a neurological condition that makes it hard for me to hear; I can tell that you’re speaking, but I can’t tell what you’re saying.”  

This is 100% true.  It is a neurological condition.  

We label this a condition, but as a society, we don’t treat it that way.  Society treats it as yet another excuse.  It’s not.  You’re not lazy, stupid or crazy.  Neither am I.  

I have a condition.  Acknowledging that is the first step of treatment.  Not five thousand sticky notes, not binders or filing systems or even taking all the doors off the cupboards (although I definitely plan to do that one as soon as I possibly can).  Not counselling sessions with so many different people I can’t even name them all, for the love of god please understand that you can’t just fix it with pills.  

(Although mad props to the people who thought Concerta would magically solve me at the age of nine!  Spoiler alert:  it did not do that!  But it did mean that my parents felt comfortable blaming me for all my failures again, so it did at least some of what it was designed for, I guess. :) )   

I have spent the last few years re-understanding my ADHD it as is:  a neurological condition, a disability, and a simple fact of life.  A starting place, instead of yet more proof of my own inherent insufficiency.  And you know what?  When you take the blame and self-hatred out of the diagnosis--when you stop cursing it as the cause of all your problems and start trying to work with it, instead--it gets a lot easier to manage. 

[donaidk]

This isn't really F1 related but I really hope you don't mind me asking. I saw you mentioning first hand experiences with sexism and how you think about giving up dreams because of fears. As someone who's about to go into university could you tell me what you mean with those experiences. What happened? Ofc if it's triggering for you please just ignore this but thank you for your help if you can talk about it 💝

Hi Anon! Luckily it’s not triggering me in a way that I can’t talk about, just mostly makes me angry and tired mentally. But if it can help someone I will gladly talk about it and show you how it affects me personally. I wanna highlight the word personally because we are all different and what hurts me could be nothing special for someone else. Also, one more important thing, I don’t think that every male human being is the devil and please never think about everybody as someone who wanna hurt you, as most of them are probably normal people. But maybe let’s start from where it all started as I want you to see the whole picture if you’re asking for true help ☺️

Warning: Long, not so happy post mentioning different kinds of sexism around university studies and working somewhere that’s usually filled with mostly males

To start off: I'm not someone to take unhelpful and toxic criticism from anyone. I like to think that I'm aware what I'm capable of and who I truly am, without others trying to tell me how someone should act, speak and think. My family raised me to make my own decisions and navigate life in a way that makes me happy and not others who think they have a say in my life. That's why, most of the time, I did achieve what I set out as a goal for myself. It's never easy and everyone has breakdowns, sometimes more than they should when they tend to overthink situations. However, hitting your goals and getting to live a life which you imagined for yourself never comes easy, but people will never see the behind the scenes struggles you had on the way to your current position. So please, take my experiences with a grain of salt and if you wanna try yourself at something don’t hold back just because someone had bad experiences in the field. (Although, please do not choose it if you know for sure it will only hurt you!)

So the whole story: Back in May last year I imagined the last past months quite differently. I envisioned my family being proud of me for reaching a milestone successfully, meeting new - more mature - people who will finally look at me for who I am inside and not outside and also getting to study something that brought a smile to my face every second of the day when I was thinking about it. I choose my university carefully, knowing full well how none of them will be easy to complete, but at least wanted to enjoy the years I was about to commit to the community there. I had friends and aquintances, from both genders, telling me how much they enjoyed spending their Bachelor and Masters study time here and how it was such a loving community all around. I was ecstatic when I got the text that I got in, and throughout the whole summer I couldn't wait to start my first semester.

Fast forward to September/October right before all hell broke loose. I made quite a few friends, got to be part of a fantastic study group which stayed together even when we changed to online learning and most importantly loved everything I got to study. Yes, there were a few classes which were hard or seemed unnecessary but I still enjoyed them and thought I did quite well compared to how it was such a deep dive after high school. Then I slowly got a taste of a side of everything I knew will be there but hoped will somehow stay away from me. These are the first hand experiences I also mentioned under this Susie post as it was the whole point where I thought back to everything. The list goes like this:

Almost failing a class just because our female teacher thinks all girls sleep around or flirt their way through uni with all the male teachers/tutors, and thinks we have to be punished through making us fail no matter our knowledge of the class. I got given a thesis that i knew word-by-word, which was my fave to learn, and I still was clawing for the second grade in our system. Fair, right?

We have a teacher who's known for letting girls who dress pretty just for his class pass his class easier while he makes it hell for the others (girls, boys are graded for what they actually give in). It's common knowledge and looked at like it's completely normal behaviour.

In one class we have to send in homework and we can get 0-1 point for it, depending on how well it works. If you don't send it in you get -1, and at the end of the semester you have to have at least 0 points all together. But if you can't send it in, you have one more chance to do so in the next 7 days for 0 points no matter if it works or not. This is something every student gets to use and it's not a personal advantage. However, one of the boys in my class probably didn't pay attention and didn't know about it. Why is it important you may ask. Well, because when he heard me ask about it in his opinion I'm 'a bitch who uses her gender to get better grades and pass uni easier than others'.

The same boy has been harrassing two other girls in dms and made fun of them for their tiny mistakes. He also called me a bitch once again right in front of the whole class and our young male tutor (who I have to add I love because he's always helpful and never looks at us different), making the whole situation truly awkward.

Getting told by another student that they would be willing to share notes to me if I wore more feminine clothing and laughing about his comment with his mates.

Family members saying I probably chose what I did because I would have mostly just boys around me and that I should just give up if I feel like this is my only chance at finding a partner. At the age of fucking 19, where I'm sorry, but I had more important things to experience than chasing after boys who were all immature compared to what I was looking for. Same person saying that he thought I wouldn't be one for adult work, as it usually ends with us sleeping around for titles and positions anyways.

I also have to add again that these are of course the extremes, and at the same time I know several fantastic students and teachers who I love with my whole heart from both genders. But every memory gets stained when you get into situations like the ones mentioned above. It also makes me scared about the male-oriented atmosphere I'll have to work in, if the one I have right now, which is deemed a safe environment for all, already showed signs for being dangerous. It's also probably worse online as people get bolder by not having to show their faces or name while making comments and saying shit. But I still don’t want to let this change my mind about something I spent years on building up the plans for. Even if it will be hard I want to show that their stupid opinions won’t break me and will never stop me from achieving the final dream of mine.

Even though we are living in the change, it’s still not fully here and in my opinion won’t be here for quite a bit. But you can take part in it and help it move forward. I do change back and forth between getting my energy from these and letting it break me as I’m a human with feelings and not a robot, but what matters is which side will win in the end. Even if you feel like giving up, just try getting on with the next day. If the bad side can’t stay for long it won’t be the winner.

It’s a lot easier to get through if you have friends who support you, but it’s never gonna be actually easy. Things like this will hurt you, but also make you stronger in my opinion. It’s important that you know who you are and what you are like, and not just take everything that’s thrown at you. People who are trying to hurt you are cowards and deserve no attention. You’re the one living with yourself and the only one who actually knows who are you inside. Never let them change you!

I’m sorry for the late answer, but I wanted to truly think about this and not just give a quick and short answer that means nothing to someone who reads it. I probably went in circles a little bit but hope it makes sense. I also truly hope that you will enjoy university and that situations like these will stay out of your experiences throughout the years. Remember, that these aren’t setbacks, just hurdles that you will be able to jump over either today or tomorrow or another day. Just take everything as it comes and make your decisions only for yourself. Love ya and good luck 🧡

[addictofsupernatural]

The Road So Far (pt. 2)

Sweet Pea x reader

Summary: Y/n Winchester and her two older brothers go to the small town of Riverdale for a case, and meets Sweet Pea on tbe way.

Riverdale + Supernatural Crossover

Word Count: 2006

Chapter 1 • Chapter 3

Sweet Pea handed Sam the drinks, and you stepped inside. "Dean." You said. He reluctantly gave you his gun that he was hiding behind him. "C'mon dude." You put the gun on the table as he closed the door.

You and Sam sat down at a small table and started eating. "So, what's up with Mr. Nice Guy?" He teased.

You smiled and looked down at your food. "I don't know. Almost everybody seems afraid of him, but he's been nothing but nice to me. I asked around about him to see if he's a player, but everyone says that he's scary or that he's loyal."

"Why do people think he's scary?"

Mm, probably because he's in a gang, and has a neck tattoo, and rides a motorcycle, and is known for hating the Northside, and his name is Sweet Pea." He stared at you, amused. "But I'm just guessing. Could be wrong."

"So it's like he's a scary mafia leader who's respected by his people but feared by everybody else, and also protects his girl and treats her right despite everybody's warning about him to her."

You sat there in silence, taking in the truth that he was saying. "I don't see the comparison at all." You said quietly, picking at your food while Sam laughed.

Meanwhile, Dean and Sweet Pea were having a conversation that was not as lighthearted. "What's your game here?"

"What?" Sweet Pea asked nervously.

"Why are you trying to get into my little sister's pants? Don't think I don't know the kind of guy you are."

"I'm really not trying anything bad." Although Dean was tall, Sweet Pea was still taller, and Dean hated the fact that he had to look up in order to face him.

Dean didn't believe him. "You know we won't be here for much long right? A week max, and the three of us will be on the road together, just like it's always been."

"Yeah, and she deserves more than that." He stepped closer, gaining some new found confidence to the Winchester. "She should be enjoying the things that's in front of her, not just saying 'Who cares, I'm gonna be gone soon' like she has been. She deserves a life, and she's not getting that."

Dean looked away and wiped his mouth with his hand in frustration. Maybe he was right. Maybe the hunting life wasn't for you. "Look, if I see or hear about you trying anything with her-"

"You'll shoot me?" He asked, some of his confidence gone.

"Oh, no, I'll be standing right next to you watching while she shoots you." He smiled at patted him hard on the back, going back inside.

"So, how'd it go?" You asked with a teasing smile.

"Where's my food?" You and Sam looked at each other. If he avoided the question, that meant that he came to a conclusion he didn't like.

You silently put his food in front of him on the table, and he pulls up a chair to eat. "Oh, by the way," you said. "After dinner I'm gonna go out to Fox Forest with a few other people from school. They have a lead."

"Sure, as long as we tag along." Dean didn't look up from his food.

"What? No." You whined. "It's fine, I can handle myself."

"And what about your friends?" Sam caught on to Dean's bitter tone. He understood that Dean didn't like it that you were attaching yourself a little too much to a town that you will be leaving.

"They've been in a lot of dangerous situations before. Jughead and Betty have caught this kid's murderer, a serial killer, and have figured out a lot of sketchy crap that goes on in this town. They're good at solving mysteries, and have stayed alive in the process."

Sam looked from you to Dean. "That's... actually impressive."

Dean ignored all of that. "Jughead? What kind of a name is Jughead?"

Your face fell. "Is that all you got from that?" He sheepishly looked at you. "I'm going. Don't worry, if anything happens I'll call. Promise."

Sam and Dean looked at each other. "Fine."

You hugged Dean, to which he grumbled and hugged you back. You then took the pie out of the bag and opened the packaging, handing Dean a plastic fork and kissed him on the top of the head in a fun manner, ruffling his hair. "It's cherry."

A small smile came onto his face as he excepted your rare, playful love. You put on your jacket, put your knife in your pocket, and headed out. "Love you guys."

"Love you too." They both called out as you close the door.

You then head out to Fox Forest, meeting with the other three. You all search around, finding nothing for a while. Once you're deep into the forest, you found some tents. "Hey guys." You said. "Over there."

We all hid, trying to see whether someone would come out or not. Someone did. "It's a Ghoulie." Sweet Pea whispered, with Jughead nodding.

"A Ghoulie?"

"It's a rival gang." Betty explained. You breathed out a small laugh. Until they shifted into their true form. You were hoping that this stake out was going to be false, but that wasn't the case. "Oh my God." Betty whispered.

You took out your phone, quickly calling Dean. "Who are you calling?" Jughead whispered harshly.

"My brothers. Trust me."

As he answered, Jughead ended the call. "No. That won't help."

"Let's all just go before they see us." You said. "We need to think about what to do next." They all agreed, swiftly leaving.

The four of you stood in the cold near the bridge. "Okay, I need to process this." Jughead said. "We'll all meet up tomorrow to talk about what we're going to do."

Jughead and Betty left together, leaving you and Sweet Pea alone. "Hey, you okay?" He gently touched your arm.

"Uh, yeah. Still processing. Are you?"

"I'm a little freaked by it, but we have to do something so I guess I should try to be calm right now. Come on, I'll give you a ride."

You both got to the motel, and you stopped him from leaving. "Wait." You put your hand on his, causing him to stop. You then take off the ring you've been wearing. "Here."

He smiled at it and put it on, taking off his dog tag and putting it on you. "I know this was a scary ass night, but I'm still not letting you get away from me. Hope you feel better."

You blankly stated at him before giving him a light hug. "Thank you. I hope you feel better too." He then took off.

You put the dog tag underneath your shirt and went inside. "So," Dean said from his bed. "How'd it go? You called me but hung up right after."

"Heh," you nervously laughed. "So funny story-"

"You saw the werewolves." He uncrossed his arms. You nodded. "What'd you do?"

"Nothing. We decided to figure out what to do about it tomorrow."

"Damnit y/n." He sighed.

"I thought it would be a dead end." You defensively said. "I didn't know that they actually knew what they were doing."

He scooted over. "Well go to sleep. We have to go to school tomorrow."

The next day at school you prayed to Chuck that Sam and Dean wouldn't do anything while you were at school. It was then that there was an announcement that you, Betty, Jughead and Sweet Pea were to go to the principal's office. Damn you Chuck.

The four of you were all sitting down in Mr. Weatherbee's office, and as soon as the principal left your two giant brothers came in. "Aren't they your brothers?" Jughead asked.

"I wish I could say no." You gave them an embarrassed look.

"Hi." Sam said. "I'm special agent Hoff. This is my partner, special agent Hassel."

You let out a snort. "I'm sorry, is there something funny?" Dean asked.

"Wow guys, that's good. Special agents Hassel and Hoff. David Hasselhoff. Nice."

Dean sighed. "Really?"

"Dean cut the crap, they know what they saw."

"You two aren't agents." Betty stated.

Sam sighed. "Y/n's right Dean. They're smarter that they look."

Jughead leaned in his seat. "Why would you two have different last names when we know that you were brothers?"

Your two brothers were silent. Dean then looked at you. "You wanna give your smart ass friends the hunter's talk?"

You looked down. "Not really." You felt Sweet Pea stare at you, but you refused to look at him. He'd want to stay far away from you now, you were sure of it.

Sam and Dean finished explaining everything. The three teenagers sitting next to you were staring at you. You kept your gaze on the floor. "So that's why you all have to stay away from that place." Dean said. "At least until we take care of them."

"No." Betty said.

"Wha- were you not just listening to what they were saying?!" You exclaimed.

"You need more people, because knowing the Ghoulies, the whole gang's probably werewolves."

"Betty's right." Jughead nodded. "Strength in numbers. You need the Serpents."

"Serpents?" Dean looked at you for answers. You put two fingers to your neck pulse. He understood that you were talking about Sweet Pea's tattoo. He huffed. "This ain't some game for kid 'gangs'."

"The Serpents aren't a kiddy gang," Jughead protested. "They're a family. And my dad is the serpent king."

You knew it was supposed to be serious, but you couldn't help but find it a bit funny. "Well shit." You said, smiling. "This town is so weird, and I love it."

"Y/n, you can't be serious." Sam said.

"Well, we have to take out a big nest. You heard them, there's about 70 Ghoulies. We need all the help we can get." You then turned to Sweet Pea. "Doesn't your gang have a law about unity or something?" You cocked your head, a smile on your face.

He nodded, feeling pumped up. "In unity, there is strength."

"In unity, there is strength." Betty and Jughead echoed.

Dean huffed. "Fine, I'll call Cas."

"I'll call Crowley." You perked up.

"No." Both your brothers said.

"Why?" You whined. "He's changed. Now that he's got human blood in him, he's good. And he has a soft spot for me. Admit it." They didn't respond. "Silence is acceptance. I'll call him right now."

"Who's Crowley?" Sweet Pea asked. "And Cas?"

"Um, they'll probably introduce themselves when they get here." As Dean left the room to call Castiel, you shifted towards Sweet Pea. "Hey, uh, I get it if you don't want to talk to me anymore. People usually stay away when they find out I'm a hunter."

"Are you kidding?" Sweet Pea asked with a smile. "You're a total badass superhero! That just makes me want to spend more time with you."

You gave him a huge grin. "Really?"

He nodded, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear. He began to lean in, and your lips were about to touch before Sam cleared him throat. "You should call Crowley now."

You felt heat spread on your face as you nodded, taking out your phone and calling The King 😈. He put that as his contact on your phone.

"Hey Crowley. Whatcha doin'?"

...

"Sounds boring. So, I was wondering if you'd wanna help out on a case. Please?"

...

"No, not demons. Werewolves. About 70 of them."

...

"As soon as Cas is here, so about two days."

...

"Perfect! You're the best Crowley."

...

"Don't get too cocky on me now. I'll let you know when he comes. Bye!"

You then hung up the phone. "He's coming!" You happily said. "So while we wait on Cas, we have two days to help these Serpents to become a hunter."

-------

Tag List:

@sgarrett49 @t-a-i-l-o-r-m-a-d-e

[help-too-many-ideas]

Always positive/Always negative

Now these are two prompt which are the opposites of each other.

For both of them we need:

the miraculous ladybug universe

Gabe having character development

a certain girl called Diana Luna

Now for the first one!

Always positive starts shortly after chameleon.

So Lila is back, has everyone wrapped around her finger except for Marinette and Adrien, they're still in their two love squares, and the heroes all got their miraculous.

Now this is where Diana comes in.

Her family moved to Paris a few days ago, and now she's going to attend the same school as the Miracuclass. She's even gonna be in it.

Now Diana is a special girl. She's always positive. Meaning she can't feel any negative emotion at all.

She learned to identify when she would have those feelings though, as for when she'd doubt something, there'd be a lack of trust.

So when she enters the class, first she introduced herself.

It goes a little bit like this:

"Hey everybody, I'm Diana Luna. Me and my dads moved here a week ago and now I'm gonna be in your class. I really enjoy reading, singing and drawing. Oh, and a quick note, I can't feel any negative emotions. However I notice when I should. I hope you'll accept that. If you don't believe me, then don't. If you do, THANKS A LOT! Yeah, that's it. I hope at least some of you believe me, and that those few will end up my friends!"

And that got a lot of different reactions.

Adrien, with his heart of gold, would of course believe her, and maybe be like hey, one person I don't have to save.

Marinette would be like wait should I pity her or not. Wait she probably doesn't want me to pity her. Wait can she even not want something- (more internal spiraling)

Lila would be like she should be an easy target if what she says is true. She can't feel doubt after all.

To only name those three.

So of course, as it is the only free seat, Diana goes to sit next to Lila. Who of course wants to start one of her stories, but Diana is like "can we talk later? I wouldn't want to miss out on my first lesson, ok? Thanks!" And Lila is just so confused about this new girl that she in fact DOES stop.

After the lesson of course, she'll try her stories, maybe I'll write something short for that.

--------

Now you will realize that when they actually want to, Gabriel can be smart.

And he actually is this time too.

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(after miracle queen, and after gang of secrets)

Nadja:Don't be bemused, it's just the news. It looks like Shadow Moth has taken on an even newer form! Yes, I'm being told that .......... Scarlet Shadow has made an announcement!

If anyone was able to resist negative emotions when facing all of his sentimonsters and the akumas he send out, he would surrender the butterfly and the peacock miraculous to them.

However, if the heroes weren’t able to find a person, they had to give him theirs.

They get multiple tries, but once started, they only have 24 hours until they have to give up if they don’t succeed.

If you think you could do it, please call us immediately.

So far the list of sighted sentimonsters are guilt, the giant lollipop monster and Ladybug.

The akumas are Animaestro, Gamer 2.0, Copycat, Sandboy, Dark Cupid, Horrificator, Reverser, Silencer, Reflekta, Lies and Truth.

--------------

LoL I actually made the picture for this

ANYway......

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Of course Marinette and Adrien immediately think of Diana. But they're both not sure if she's able to do it.

I mean, they could just try to defeat all of the akumas, even taking on a fake Luka or someone copying him, cause he's akumatized two times, but only a few people know that.

But she's the only person they know, so they plan on asking her, but they think they have to figure out a way to convince their partner to trust her.

Meanwhile Nadja gets akumatized once again.

Then Diana calls the studio and she picks up, but since she still sound like Nadja, and it's over the phone, she doesn't notice it's not her.

So now Hawkmoth knows there is a candidate.

That's why he sends Copycat and Sentibug there.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

I'll finish this tomorrow, now I REALLY wanna talk about the other one, cause it's a little bit longer.

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So now for the second one:

So this one start shortly before miracle queen.

And it's not really a happy beginning.

........

It hurt.

It hurt so much.

Why did she do that?

If she wants the others so badly to see a happy mother and daughter, why can't we at least try to be that?

Why?

Why so hard?

It hurts.

It hurts.

It hurts.

It hurts.

It hurts.

It hu-

............

Marinette comes out of Fu's massage shop when she sees her.

Lying on the floor, bruises everywhere you can see. Shivering. Outside with only her PJs on, in the pouring rain. Curled up.

She immediately knocks at his door again and they get her inside.

.............

Warmth. That's the first thing she felt when she woke up. When she opened up her eyes, she saw a girl, looking worriedly at her.

----

So Diana woke up in Fu's shop. Of course she's scared at first, but she quickly opens up to them, since they're kind to her.

Now the thing with THIS Diana is that she can't feel positive emotions. But she is able to feel the lack of them, and she can control them pretty well, since she delt with them her whole life.

Sooooooo........……..………………………………...........

What's the deal with her mother?

She's just a big asshole. She wants everyone to believe they're a happy family. She started beating her husband after they got married because he said they should talk about their problems rather than ignoring them.

Like their child not being able to feel positive emotions.

But she didn't want to hear it. He left them soon after Diana turned 6. Whick made it harder for her mother to keep up the image. But miraculously, she managed. (Pun not intended)

So, since she couldn't beat him anymore, she started beating her daughter.

At the beginning it didn't hurt that much. Maybe she still had a fragment of a moral code left inside her or something and didn't want to beat a child.

But it got worse after Diana turned 10. Because she couldn't be homeschooled forever.

So whenever her mother found out that someone knew they weren't always happy, she punished Diana for not being a convincing actor. Which means she hit her.

But the problem is that these other children don't forget like this. And of course they talk to their parents.

So one day when everyone is having cake, on of the mothers asks about it, not expecting there to really be anything. But then a father says his child said something similar too. Another mother says her twins noticed something too.

And with that, the illusion breaks.

Diana runs out of the room crying.

Later her mother beats her up again and again and again. When she thinks Diana is unconscious, she takes a break and tries to fix everything with her friends. That's the moment Diana escapes.

She can barely walk, she's cold, but she just wants to get away from that monster. She wouldn't even care if she was akumatized now probably. This can't get any worse.

And that's where I started.

------

From here on, it'll get better, and even a little bit funnier.

Now being a teenager, and her mother not being around to 'keep her in check', her emotions grow bigger and louder.

One day when Hawkmoth opens his window to look for a victim, all he senses is the burning anger of a 14-year-old..... Normally a perfect victim. But OH BOI is he wrong.

Punisher, I am Hawkmothe. You have been-

Oh shut up and get out.

Then she throws away the bracelet the akuma entered.

This happens often, because her emotions are just always there. She's sorta blocking his radar.

She doesn't WANT to try to reduce the negative emotions. She's finally NOT suppressing them but letting them out. And she doesn't need a f*cking akuma for that.

----------

Now Gabriel isn't dumb. Well sometimes he is, especially with twelve specific akumas. But not in this story. Oh no.

----------

"I don't know what to do Nathalie, she's blocking my view, I can't sense anything."

"What exactly is the reason you can't akumatize her?"

"She keeps throwing away that bracelet of hers the butterfly always enters."

"Then I suggest finding out what is her problem and feeding into it so she won't be able to refuse your offer...."

"Yes........ Thank you, Nathalie."

------

No, I won't tell you, now GET OUT OF MY HEAD!

------

Didn't you listen? I

------

SAID

------

I WON'T

------

TELL YOU!!!!

----------

This isn't working, I need to try something different..............

Ok, one more try......

Punisher, I am-

Don't. Even. Think. About it. Hawkface.

Ok, ok, I won't, but your blocking my radar, could you please calm down?

So you don't want to push me into akumatization?

Well I'd want to but it doesn't work. So I-

Are you siriously singing right now?

What, you said I should calm down. Singing helps me calm down.

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See you tomorrow!